Humility and Motherhood

My three-year-old daughter has no filter. She says exactly what is on her mind without thinking about how others will take it. She has told a stranger at the gym they had crazy hair. She has told one of my family members they had angry eyebrows. She just told me earlier today that I smelled like old toes. So if you’re feeling good about yourself and would like to eat a piece of humble pie, come spend some time with Selah. She’ll put you in your place with a smile on her face.

There have been many times I have been humbled in this season of motherhood. Of course, Selah’s ‘innocent’ comments like the one above don’t do much to bolster my self-esteem, but the humility I’m talking about is a different kind of thing. It is counter to my nature. It is selfless and patient and servant-like at its heart. And it goes against the messages proclaimed by the world around us.

In a world that is obsessed with our time, our needs, and our rights, this fruit believers are called to bear is striking. It is not natural to want to lay ourselves down day after day after day. It isn’t easy to think of others before we think of ourselves. So how do we learn to be humble in a world that promotes self everywhere we turn? And how can we bring that humility into our motherhood? Let’s start by looking toward our Savior:

“So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” Philippians 2:1-8

This incredible description is not one you would expect of the King of kings and the Lord of lords. Jesus Christ is God. He is holy and perfect. He is uncreated and, therefore, is in a completely separate category from humanity. YET! He condescended from his rightful throne and bound up his deity in human flesh. He wore the chains of human weakness and felt the confines of bodily limitations. He walked through the temptations of the flesh and never once succumbed to them. Our perfect Savior humbled himself to the point of dying a horrible death for a people who hated him.

Why would he do this? He did this for his glory and our good. He humbled himself to provide the way of salvation. He displayed God’s love for his people in his lowly birth, his ordinary life, and his criminal death. That is the kind of life we are meant to live.

So what does that look like in motherhood? Contrary to popular belief, being a humble people does not mean we allow others to walk all over us. It doesn’t mean our children are the rulers of the household and we are there to serve them. 

It does mean that we intentionally lay ourselves down for our kids. It means life isn’t about us any more. It means our schedules, our time, and our days are meant for someone else. Paul continues his description of humility in the following verses:

“Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.” Philippians 2:14-16

I cannot tell you how many times I have been tempted (or just flat-out given in) to grumble and complain about my season of life. I am inconvenienced by the constant needs of my one-year-old. My three-year-old needs discipline constantly. Sibling squabbles need to be broken up. Snacks need to be given. Accidents need to be cleaned up. In the midst of all these needs that I must attend to, my own are pushed to the side.

While I’m not saying moms should simply forget about their own needs for years on end, I am saying that we are called to imitate the picture Christ gives us of what it looks like to lovingly put the needs of others before yourself.

Our God had every right to put himself first. He is the rightful King, Creator, and Lord of everything in the universe. And yes he washed the dirty feet of his disciples and accepted torture from guards he could have destroyed with a word. He emptied himself and gave himself up for his people. 

He still found time for himself. He still put priority on his quiet time with God the Father. And he lived out every day as a servant. 

You and I have that same privilege. We get the daily opportunity to glorify our God by laying ourselves down. We get to display Christ to our kids by humbling ourselves on a daily basis. We get to be lights in a crooked and twisted generation by not taking part in the complaining mom culture of our day and age. 

Walking through this season of motherhood with the same humility Christ showed to the world is a beautiful picture of the gospel. It lays a foundation for your days where your expectations and hopes are not set in your time or your plans but in laying yourself down in a thousand different ways for your children. Clothe yourself in this humility. Reflect your Savior. Go against the prideful push of the world and shine bright in this season and the next.