Pressure Cooker Moments
We were two miles away from our home and at a complete standstill. The canyon our town is situated next to had closed due to an accident which led to a large traffic jam on the interstate and the side road alternative route.
My kids and I had just come from a tantrum-filled outing and we were all ready to be home. I thought we had bypassed the backup on the interstate, but the standstill on our side road was even more discouraging. I could see our neighborhood! It was right there! And yet, we couldn’t move.
Cue the meltdowns. Our 9-month-old was well past his usual nap time and could not be soothed by anything I handed him. Our three-year-old couldn’t understand why we weren’t moving and was annoyed that her brother was crying so she decided to throw in her 2 cents and scream and kick the seat in front of her.
And me? I melted down too. I turned around to my toddler and yelled right back. This only added to the chaos in our car. I turned back around and shed a few of my own tears as the cacophony of cries continued to rise from the back seat.
An hour later, we started moving and we finally pulled into our driveway. Within the next ten minutes, I unloaded the kids, got them happily snuggled in their beds and both of them immediately passed out. I unloaded our groceries, got the refrigerated things put away, and sat down in the middle of our messy home.
What had just happened? How had our day so quickly dissolved into that? And what was wrong with me? How could I respond so poorly in that situation?
These “pressure cooker moments”, unpleasant and challenging as they may be, reveal a lot. They show us where we are weak. They show us sin in our hearts. They show us where our sights are set.
You see, I can more easily reflect Christ when my kids are happily playing together while I get dinner started. I am a better picture of motherhood when an outing I had planned goes perfectly and everyone is enjoying themselves and laughter abounds. When an afternoon is spent with a fun craft and silly jokes and enough energy to play all the rounds of tag my daughter desires, I get to the end of it thinking, “Man, what a great day”.
But more times than not, our days are filled with these pockets of pressure. The morning is derailed by a massive meltdown. Our trip to the library is ruined because someone else checked out the giraffe book we’ve brought home 1,000 times. A rough night with our baby leads to low energy to give my toddler the next day. Or we get stuck in traffic only miles from home and everyone’s emotions are high.
When I start to feel this pressure rising in my circumstances, it is far too easy to give in and let it crush me until I explode. I lash out in anger, I react selfishly, I have very little patience to give. Once the pressure dies down and we have a moment of calm, the feeling of guilt-ridden defeat appears and often lingers until the day is done.
But God has been so kind to teach me that this is not his intent for these circumstances in life. He has a better plan for these moments of pressure. Let’s look at a few passages of Scripture to grow in our understanding of God’s purpose:
“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4
“Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.” James 1:12
“In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” 1 Peter 1:6-7
These verses point to a very different outcome of these daily trials. Rather than crumbling in the pressure, God’s plan is for it to refine us. Rather than succumbing to the high-running emotions these moments cause, God illustrates the potential beauty revealed from the tested genuineness of our faith. Rather than sitting in the ruins of an all-out explosion, God shows us that these moments can result in his praise and reflect his glory.
It is a very real challenge to see these moments as potential for growth and glory when we’re in them. It’s really hard for me to focus on grace when both children are dealing with monster tantrums. Certainly, the last thing on my mind in these moments is “Man, what a joy!” And yet, this is the counter-intuitive call Christ gives us.
The day after the explosion I described earlier, I woke up like I was getting ready to go into battle. I’m not joking! I knew the likelihood of us getting stuck in a traffic jam like that again was slim, but I knew the day would hold something - an afternoon of constant discipline, standard whining, a clingy baby, accidents, maybe an extra work project I didn’t anticipate etc. Pressure would build somehow. It always does.
So I woke up extra early. I spent significant time in God’s word. I spent time in prayer. I read some incredibly encouraging Christian literature. And then my kids woke up and the day began. In every moment of whining, I prayed. Every time discipline was needed, I prayed. When it seemed like my work for the day would never be done, I prayed. And God was faithful to sustain me in each of those moments.
At the end of the day, I collapsed into our bed. I was so exhausted, but by God’s grace, I hadn’t exploded. The pressure was still there, the tensions still rose, but my focus had shifted.
This incredible quote comes to mind often:
“I don’t wake up in the morning just naturally reading my Bible and singing worship songs. I must, with a warlike aggression, place the glory of God in front of my face, or I will not change . . . I will not worship Him. We must be like David in Psalm 16:8 who said, “I have set the Lord continually before me.” Matt Papa, Look and Live
I wish I could tell you I have spent every day since that traffic jam completely focused on Christ whenever the pressures have risen. But that would be a lie. There are still more times than I wish to confess that I get exasperated, worn-down, angry, depressed, overwhelmed and any other negative emotion you can think of. But even when I am faithless, God is faithful (2 Timothy 2:13). He is full of grace that he lavishes on us (Ephesians 1:7). “And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work” (2 Corinthians 9:8).
Let us all be more intentional to place the glory of God in front of our faces with warlike aggression. Let us face the moments of pressure with joy, knowing that they have the ability to refine us more and more into the image of our God. And when we fail? Let us run to the refuge of God’s grace.
The pressure is on, my friend. How will you handle it today?
