Running the Race

Over the last six months, I’ve been training for an upcoming Tough Mudder race this summer. Somehow, I’ve convinced two other ladies from church to join me in my insanity. We’re doing the 5-mile option of this mega obstacle course, and I honestly cannot wait. There’s going to be a lot of mud, lots of obstacles I’m hoping to conquer, and voluntary electrocution at the end. Who wouldn’t want to do that?

While the training program I’ve been following has many aspects, I do one thing the most—run. Yes, it’s an obstacle course that will require more physical strength than running produces, but it’s also a long race, and I’ll need to be able to hang in cardio-wise if I want to finish.

I’m not a fan of treadmills, but there is a track at our local rec center that I run around and around, counting laps on my fingers until I reach that day’s goal. The funny thing is, I actually hate running. I always have, and I probably always will. I once met another girl at the gym, and she said, “Yeah, you’re quite the runner, aren’t you?” I laughed in her face. Not the best way to make new friends, but I couldn’t conceal my genuine reaction to the fact that someone had labeled me a runner.

Running any amount of time has always been a challenge for me. The combination of my asthmatic lungs and living at a high altitude makes running very unpleasant. When I first started training, my shins would hurt, and my muscles would ache. The physical workout is hard, no doubt, but the mental battle I engage with every time I run is enough to make me want to never do it again.

But each of the reasons I hate running are the reasons I keep doing it. The more consistently I run, the stronger my lungs get. The more I train my muscles, the easier running and many other workouts become. My shins stopped hurting after I invested in good shoes and forced myself to start stretching and warming up. But the mental battle? That’s the main reason for sure.

When I run, my mind is in an all-out war zone. My brain is too good at trying to get me to give up. But by engaging in this mental battle each week, God has been faithful to use many of those moments to teach me more about him and this life he has called me to. I’d like to share a few of these lessons with you all. Even if you aren’t into fitness, I pray these truths will encourage you as you walk with the Lord.

We are called to listen to the truth, not be influenced by lies.

10 seconds is about all it takes for my brain to start trying to convince me to give up on the run I’ve planned for the day. I’ll get to the gym, stretch and warm up, get my carefully curated playlist blasting, and immediately wonder what in the world I was thinking when I decided to do this. Just this morning, I had planned a two-mile run (that’s 29 laps around our track) and almost convinced myself to give up after three laps.

At this point in my running journey, I can run 2 miles pretty easily (never thought I’d be able to write that sentence). Two and a half miles is doable, but it is a huge accomplishment. Three miles has happened twice, but it wasn’t pretty. Knowing this about myself has been crucial because it’s past evidence I can rely on. When my mind tries to convince me to give up after half a mile, I remind myself that my body is capable of more and keep pushing. When I get to the mile mark and try to justify finishing up early, I remember that I’ve made it a mile and a half before, no problem, and keep going. When it feels like my lungs are going to explode as I approach the two-mile mark, I buckle in and bear my teeth through it because I’ve made it before; I can do it again.

If I am not ready to engage in the mental battle, I am so easily influenced by lies. I can allow my circumstances to dictate my actions rather than the truth I know I can rest in.

And goodness gracious, if that’s not the same truth that I see in my walk with the Lord.

There are many times in my life when I am quick to forget the work that God has done in my life. When circumstances are hard, when I’m tired, or when I feel the weakness in my bones, it is easy to convince myself that I don’t have to keep going. I easily give up on the desire to produce the fruit of the Spirit and instead cultivate the seeds of sin that come more naturally because the effort feels herculean. I fixate on the trial God is bringing me through and decide to default to my own efforts instead of running to him as my refuge.

But when I rest in what I know to be true, that is where breakthroughs happen. When I remind myself that God has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5b), I can fight through feelings of isolation. When I remember that God told Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9), then I can rejoice when I feel weak instead of despair because I know that God has given me the grace I need. I can look back on all God has done in my life, all of the hardships he has brought me through, all of the growth he has cultivated, and place my trust fully in him instead of what my circumstances may be.

Growth doesn’t happen overnight, but it does happen over time.

I didn’t start my training journey running three miles out the gate. It’s taken me the last two years to get to this point. When I first started, I would run for one song and walk for the next. When I eventually started running for two songs in a row, I thought my lungs were going to give up on me. Transitioning to longer distances was SO HARD, but the work has paid off.

The last time I had to run three miles was still a challenge, but it didn’t kill me. My body is growing, my strength is increasing, and I’m able to do more than I ever imagined.

The same can be said when I look back over my walk with the Lord. By God’s grace and through his work in my life, I am not the same person I used to be. I think back to my first years as a mom and how depression, anxiety, selfishness, and anger ruled my heart. While there is still a whoooooooole lot of room for growth in all of those areas, the battle looks significantly different these days. God has used circumstances time and again to give me ample practice time to choose him instead of myself.

I have a wonderful friend who’s the mom of two boys who are both in elementary school. She is so patient, kind, and wise with her sons, and they are some exceptionally awesome kiddos. I asked her once how she did it all and she told me that even three years ago, their home looked different. When they were in the midst of their toddler years, the boys were out of control. She was a mess and struggled to reflect Christ. But she said she knew the kind of home she wanted to have and knew the kind of character she was meant to reflect, so she just took it one day at a time. Every day for years, she put Christ as her priority and sought to serve him. That daily and consistent training dedicated over the last few years has resulted in incredible results.

I quote this verse so often, mostly as a reminder to myself, but Paul sums this thought up perfectly.

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9

The growth we want to see in ourselves and in our kids does not happen overnight, but by God’s grace, it does happen over time. Stay faithful, mama! Don’t give up. Put in the work one day at a time, and trust God with each step.

Physical Training is Good, but…

Overall, the biggest takeaway I have had is something Paul figured out a long time ago.

“Rather train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.” 1 Timothy 4:7b-8

Since I started consistently working out, every time we’ve gone back to the South to visit family, I say I’m going to keep up the workouts while we’re there. I bring my running shoes and workout clothes and have every good intention. But it never actually happens. I always get caught up in the more relaxed schedule we have, the family or friend time we enjoy while on our trip, and all the good Southern comfort food I could ever want.

We recently had my entire family come out to visit. I told my husband and my family ahead of time that because of this Tough Mudder race, I had to keep up some sort of routine. And I did! I went to the gym, got my miles in, worked on my pull-ups, etc.

But you know what I didn’t prioritize? My quiet times in the mornings. I quickly gave up that time to sleep in a bit more after late night hangs with my brothers. I used that time to prep breakfast for everyone. It was only a few days, surely that’s ok?

Well, I was an absolute disaster at the end of their visit. Not on the outside, but my soul was hurting. I was giving into impatience, affirming my selfishness, and was so incredibly short with my overtired kids. I ran back to my old refuge of social media scrolling and then wondered why I felt off. Just like it doesn’t take long for my physical body to lose its muscle after spending time out of the gym, it didn’t take long for my spiritual self to lose the progress God has been cultivating.

Sure, I maintained a fitness routine, but what good is that if I stop tending to the fruit my heart is producing and push my relationship with my Savior to the back burner? Paul doesn’t discount physical training completely and says it does hold some value. But nothing holds more value than our daily walk with God.

Regardless of where you’re at with any kind of fitness routine, how is your heart doing? Are you prioritizing your walk with God even when life is crazy or out of routine? Run the race God has set before you, and take hope in the fact that so many who have finished are cheering you on.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:1-2