Why I Can't Watch Instagram Reels

My days start at 5:15am.

Well, most days they start at 5:15am. Some days they start at 4:45am if my son gets impatient for his second breakfast.

I’ve chosen to get up before the kids are officially awake because it allows me at least 30-45 minutes of quiet, coffee-filled time with Jesus before the chaos ensues. This time is hard-won for a formerly not-a-morning-person person. But it is well worth the discipline.

My children wake up around 6:15ish and the day doesn’t slow down until they are asleep for the night around 7:30pm. I thought about typing out what a typical day looks like for us, but suffice it to say, it’s busy. Meals to make, tantrums to handle, a baby to nurse, a thousand things to do and only time to do about three of them.

I’m sure you can relate. Your busyness may look different than mine, but the demands likely feel the same.

Every part of my day is meant for something or someone else. But there is generally a moment about 30 minutes to an hour at the end of the day where I have a choice of what I want to do. I could watch TV with Scott. I could read for pleasure. I could write. I could catch up on additional work projects. I could go to sleep early.

But one day not too long ago, I discovered Instagram reels (Gosh that makes me sound old). I’m not cool enough to have a TikTok account (also makes me sound old), but this is basically the same thing.

I started watching them on accounts that I manage to find ideas of reels I could create for my clients. But then I started watching them on my personal Instagram account. Suddenly, the algorithm had adjusted to fit me - a mom and a wife. All of the reels were centered around these two aspects of my life that dictate so much of what my day looks like.

While a lot of them were just cute baby videos where you show what your baby looked like as a newborn compared to now or the fun trend of squeezing your baby’s thigh rolls accompanying the sound of a squeak toy, there were others that caught my attention more.

There were so many that were hilarious takes on the challenges of motherhood - reiterations of how the to-do list never ends, how you never get a moment to yourself, how your children’s demands are constant, how it seems like your husband gets to escape it all when he goes to work, how alllllllll of the grunt work falls to you.

I was loving it. I understood them. It felt like these women understood me. They ended up completely taking over that quiet part of my day.

But there was just one problem.

Spending my coveted down time watching these reels was killing me.

It was sowing and nurturing seeds of discontentment. They affirmed sinful thoughts I hadn’t paid much attention to and proudly justified them! Thoughts like “My day is so much harder than my husband’s. He has no right to be tired.” Or “My kids need me all the time. Can’t they just leave me alone for a minute?” Or the worst of them, “Because my role and job is challenging, I am untouchable - I can act and respond however I want because I’m tired and stretched thin, so WATCH OUT everyone!”

While this kind of thought process and attitude is often portrayed and even celebrated in the world, God calls us to a much different manner of life. Let’s take a look at what that life looks like:

“Do all things without grumbling or disputing,” Philippians 2:14

“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” Philippians 2:3

These handful of verses come back into my mind at the most inconvenient of times. Usually when I’m in the middle of complaining (either out loud or in my own heart) or when I pridefully want to put my own needs ahead of everyone else’s.

Is the season I’m in hard? Yep. 100%. Am I exhausted and weary some days? Oh yes. Does that give me a right to complain and be selfish and wear a “woe is me” banner across my forehead for everyone to see?

Nope.

I’m not necessarily saying that the videos I come across on Instagram have that heart behind their message. What I am saying is that when I watch them, that is message that is being stirred in my own sinful heart.

And I can’t do it anymore.

God has called me to motherhood and marriage and blessed me with two amazing children and an incredible husband. And it’s hard! I thought having a two year old was challenging, but now she’s almost three and, woah, here we go. And even though I longed for this season for so many years back in my single days, I struggle with being content in the day-to-day mundane muck.

But it needs to continue to be an actual struggle. Not just a sin that I constantly give into and allow to rule my heart without putting up any kind of fight. I don’t want discontentment to take hold of this season and call it a ‘struggle’, when really I’m just choosing to sin consistently and then feel bad about it later.

This season is an amazing gift where an incredible amount of pruning is taking place. It’s hard and it can be painful and unpleasant - but the fruit that comes from it by God’s gracious work will, Lord willing, glorify my Creator.

So I’ve gotta stop spending my one time of day where I can choose life-giving, productive things to enjoy indulging in mindless scrolling through Instagram Reels. I’ll still create them for my clients. I’ll even create some of my own because they are pretty fun to create! But scrolling through them for far longer than I care to confess?

Nah. By God’s grace, I’ve got better things to do.